- Look! The mailman just brought me a gift from @taikatuuliadoll!
- Why do you always get gifts from everybody and I never get anything?
- Because I am cute and kind and nice and I make friends on Instagram.
Kaarna protests:
-
I’m nice too! By the way, have you noticed on Internet that people
actually watch videos of other people unboxing dolls or devices or some
other crap? How sad and sick is that? Social media can suck my bony ass.
- Listen to yourself… That’s the reason you’re not getting any gifts.
Kaarna sighs:
- Do you know that I’m turning 40 this year?
- Yup. How do you feel about that?
- I’m freaking out. I’ve accomplished nothing.
- Like what? Marriage, two kids, a house, a Tesla, a dog and a well paid job?
- Hell no!!!!!!!
Ken asks:
- What then?
- I’m stuck…
- But you have accomplished many things… You have beaten the depression, you have..
- I mean literally stuck! Help me up!
- Haha! Looks like your 40-year-old body isn’t that flexible anymore!
Ken didn’t realize how full his souvenir shelf is and how big the souvenir he brought from Estonia actually is.
- It’s massive. Looks like my trip to Tallinn has been the most important trip in my whole life, he thinks while admiring all the beautiful things on the souvenir shelf.
Luckily there’s no law that forbids making alterations on souvenirs.
What a day for outdooring! The lakeside and ice are crowded.
This is what Ken and Kaarna have been waiting for during this rainy and dark winter.
Life goes on peacefully and uneventfully. Ken keeps on working at the Post and has no energy to do anything nice at home.
And Kaarna keeps struggling with the studies for entrepreneurship.
- I will not give up. They pay me 9 euros per day for studying this shit. It’s 180 euros extra each month. This is worth it. It´ll be my ticket to freedom.
Hector’s mother teaches Ken how to make a traditional fish pot. For Ken it’s important to preserve the skills of the elders.
Kaarna comes to see what’s going on:
- Gross! They still have eyes!!!
- And they are watching you!!! Ken laughs.
Hector’s mom asks where the onions are and Ken realizes that he forgot to buy them!
- There are red onions in the fridge though. Maybe we can use them instead?
Kaarna tells what happened in Italy once:
-
We were in a fancy restaurant and I ordered something on the fish menu.
They gave me a mountain of teeny tiny fish with heads and eyes! I ate
them all, even though I thought I would vomit! I had paid for that meal,
so I couldn’t leave it uneaten, could I? Just think about all the
hundreds of fish eyes in my stomach!!!!
- Uh…
- Later when I told
about it to an Italian stuert in the airplane, he laughed and explained
to me that the heads are not supposed to be eaten. No wonder the waiter
looked at me in a funny way.
Ken has been having trouble sleeping. He wakes up nany times during the nights feeling uncomfortably hot.
- This is ridicilous. I’m freezing all the time and now I’m sweating like a pig.
After the classes Kaarna is usually very tired and super pissed. Studying is a lot harder than she had thought.
Mari’s smile always swipes away Kaarna’s bad mood.
They usually don’t have much time together, before Mari has to run to the theater. But she’s never too busy for some kisses and cuddling!
One morning when Kaarna enters the kitchen he finds Ken on the floor:
- Oh Ken!!!!!!!!!!
- Why have you hatched out of your Tweety and why are you lying naked on the floor?
- I was making a sandwich and suddenly I got hot and sweaty and wanted to die. What a horrible experience!
- Do you have fever?
- Don’t touch me!!!!!!
- It can be a panic attack.
Ken says:
- This is
horrible. Cold hot cold hot. I can’t even go to work, I’m so tired
because I’m not sleeping well. This has been going on for a while now.
I’m losing my mind.
- Great. Then we can be crazy together!
Ritva has come to enjoy
an afternoon tea with Ken. Even though it’s her day off she wants to
hear about Ken’s health. When Ken tells about the new symptoms, Ritva
says:
- Sudden mood swings, freezing, hot flashes… How’s your libido?
- Non existent, but that’s fine by me.
Ritva says:
- This really sounds like you’re going through a menopause.
- That can’t be it! I’m way too young! And a male...
-
You’re definitely not too young and what comes to your gender, it’s an
enigma anyway. Bsides men also have their andropause... it´s not this strong and sudden though... The donated body might not be in sync with your brain. We
could try some hormone treatment, since you don´t want to consider getting back to your old body. It might be tricky to find the right
combination though. I will consult a specialist and make you a
prescription.
- Oh boy…
It´s
an advantage to have a doctor in the family. Only a couple of days
later Ken puts a plaster of the female hormones on his belly and spreads
some gel of the male ones on his thighs.
- External medicine! These can’t be any help, just a damn placebo. I want pills that go straight inside me.
The girls go to the local art museum every month to see the changing exhibitions.
If the pieces are especially interesting they might visit the same exhibition more than once.
Kaarna says:
- I’m starving! Let’s hurry home. Ken made a big pot of lentil soup yesterday.
But Mari has a another idea:
- Or let’s have lunch here instead. The sushi buffet restaurant is right around the corner.
- Sushi! I will not pay a single penny for white rice and ridicilously small pieces of fish.
- I’m buying.
- Ok. In that case you can choose what we eat.
Kaarna is not a fan of the Asian cuisine:
- How can you eat that disgusting seaweed? It tastes like rotten fish.
- It doesn’t! But you seem to like wasabi though.
- I hate it. But I get some twisted joy when I torture myself with eating it. I want to see if my head would eventually explode.
Kaarna watches how Mari uses the chopsticks and says:
- They do have forks and knifes here. All you have to do is ask. You’re not Japanese.
- Yes, but this is the real way to eat sushi.
- That is so stupid…
- But it’s sushi.
- It’s just an over priced lunch. You’re a horrible snob sometimes. But I still love you, Kaarna mumbles.
Mari laughs and gives Kaarna a kiss that tastes like rotten fish.
- Hey Ken! How’s your menopause today?
- The same.
- No help from the steroids?
-
No surprise there! Placebos don’t work. I want pills or injections, but
Ritva says that putting the hormones on the skin is safer, Ken replies
annoyed.
- My head is blurry and I’m so irritated all the time. I can’t even remember when was the last time I slept a whole night. I may have some understanding towards my crazy ass mother now.
Kaarna pets Ken’s head and says:
-
Yeah. Humans are not supposed to live this old. Our bodies have not
evolved as fast as the life expectancy has rised. We should die in our
40s. Oh hell, I’m nearly 40!!!!
- You old cougar, Mari whispers.