The army camp for women is about to begin!
Kaarna arrives nervously at the army area and soon she is guided to stand in line to get the clothes and other gear. She notices that most of the other girls got a pair of boots that seem to fit, but hers are huge.
- How am I supposed to march with these, she wonders and says to the girl next to her:
- They gave boots too big to you also!
- These are my own combat boots. And they fit perfectly.
- Oh... sorry.
Kaarna stuffs her pockets full of protein bars. She is not going to starve during this weekend!
The backpack is horribly heavy but luckily unlike real soldiers they don´t have to carry their stuff while marching to the camp. All the gear is taken by a truck while the women learn to walk in rhythm, turn right and left and stop.
The military instructor tells that women are always better in marching than men. Kaarna is not happy to hear that, because she obviously marches like a man.
Completely without any sense of rhythm. She tries to follow the combat boot girl's steps, but failes constantly. And her gigantic footwear doesn´t help either...
When they arrive at the camp site, the instructor asks if any of the women has experience in setting up a semi-team tent. The combat boot girl (who´s name is Marika) naturally has done it before, and so she is nominated as the team leader.
When Marika is getting the instructions, Kaarna takes advantage of the moment and eats a protein bar. They won´t be fed for a long time, because setting up the tent takes time.
They will have to do it without any help from the instructor.
Kaarna teaches one girl how to make stakes with the axe.
And now she has to listen to Marika´s orders without questioning them. That turns out impossible, when Marika tells her how to set up the heater in the tent.
Kaarna gets rebellious:
- Can´t you see where the hole for the chimney is?! It looks like a fucking tower of Pisa if I have to place the heater here! This spot is where the center pole belongs to!
- This is how it goes. I know, Marika replies and Kaarna is already pissed off.
When the instructor comes to see the tent, he immediately asks:
- Why is the chimney of the heater leaning like that?
- I told you so, Kaarna hisses to Marika.
Finally they are guided to enter the canteen barrack. But the dinner is a disappointment. Only white macaroni with a few crumbs of meat. And sugary juice to drink. Kaarna is very thankful for her protein bars, because the food doesn't get any better during the following days either. White bread and macaroni for every meal. No vegetables at all! And meals are served only four times a day!
Kaarna is not comfortable at the table with the other girls. The older ones only talk about their children and the younger ones actually talk about finger nails and hair extensions. And as always and everywhere Kaarna feels like an outsider.
Another thing that is very difficult thing for Kaarna is the toilet without walls or doors between the seats. Kaarna can barely pee, let alone poop! What if she had had her period this weekend! What a nightmare that would be!
Kaarna is 100% sure that she won´t be sleeping at all in the tent between these strangers, but to her surprise she falls asleep in no time at all. It´s hard to wake up at night and leave the comfy sleeping bag to watch the fire on her turn.
On Saturday the girls get to learn how to shoot. The instructor gives each of them an assault rifle and teaches how to load them:
- Remember that we use real bullets. Do not point the gun on any person at any time!
Marika has shooted many times before, so obviously she is a pro already:
- I am a member of a shooting club, Sir. I mainly use a pistol, but I am comfortable with any kind of a weapon, she blabbers.
Kaarna secretly rolls her eyes.
After the practise shooting the instructor checks all the target boards.
- Excellent shooting. It´s obvious that you have shooted before. Maybe next time try to concentrate even more and you will get tens. Next round is a competition round.
Marika looks annoyingly snooty and Kaarna can´t wait to hear the instructor´s reaction to her own board...
When KOULUTTAJA sees Kaarna´s board, he says:
- And you also have shooted before.
- No. This is my first time. I haven´t even seen a gun before in my life.
- Truly well done. I have no advice to you. Just keep on doing exactly the same on the next round.
But after the competition round the instructor is very disappointed.
- Nerves, right? In a tough place you won´t hit the target.
Also Kaarna is disappointed. She really really really loved shooting!
In the evening Marika orders Kaarna to light the firein the heater, but Kaarna can´t take her advice.
- I light a fire every fucking day at home! I know how to do it! You Besserwisser...
She gets so angry that she tries to storm out of the tent to get the firewood. That is not easy, because this theatrical exit must be executed on all fours. And the tent door doesn´t even slam like a normal door!
On Sunday it´s time to learn how to use mines.
- These are the covers of a claymore mine and a landmine. They are un-armed for your safety.
First the group learns how to bury an anti-tank mine. When a tank drives on this spot, the mine explodes and destroys the tank.
(Anti-personnel mines are not allowed in Finland based on the Ottawa Treaty, but our current government has decided to allow them, even if those things make loads of civilian casualties. But right now our ministers are making all sorts of decisions that prove them insane and destroy our welfare society completely.)
When Kaarna is preparing the claymore mine, the instructor says:
- Look at its concave shape. Now imagine the enemy approaching from that direction. When the mine is fired, 90 bullets spread towards them.
Kaarna looks at the woods and imagines the approaching enemy and says:
- Enemy? Don´t you mean people? Most likely young boys.
- Are you a pacifist?
- I suppose I am.
When the training is over, all the women gather in a hall. The instructor gives them all good evaluation and rewards the best shooter.
Then he says:
- Everybody who was hungry during the weekend, raise your right hand!
Kaarna raises her hand in half a second, but then she notices that she´s the only one.
She mumbles:
- What the hell...? Seriously... I was starving all the time.... I had eaten all my protein bars already on Saturday...
The instructor asks her to step forward and hands her a big bag full of food supplies.
- This is a fighter´s meal pack for one day. I bet all the girls were hungry, but you are the only one who has the guts to say it. Well done, soldier.
Kaarna starts to cry immediately when she sees Ken. All the excitement and pressure comes out at once.
- I haven't pooped in three days! All that white wheat! My belly is so hard it hurts! And I'm hungry and tired and everybody else hated me! And I'm a pacifist!
- But you made it all the way to the very end! You're a hero!
- I know!!!! I'm a fucking superhero!!! Now you can tell Hector and Janne.
- Naturally I already did when you left.
Hector, Janne and Ken have prepared dinner to welcome Kaarna home.
- This survival pack will be very useful in Herbert, but right now we'll have some salmon with mashed cauliflower and fresh vegetables to make that bowel of yours work again!
- And donuts for dessert.
- We also have a little gift for you. I hope it's the right size, Hector says and hands Kaarna a soft package.
- Camo pants! Cool. I actually like these.
- Hector found them in the army leftover store, Ken tells.
Kaarna puts them on right away and they fit nicely.