The flight takes almost 7 hours and it’s already dark when they get to the hotel. Kaarna has a headache:
- Seriously… why do people bring their newborn babies on board?! Such idiots!!! When one finally gets quiet, another one starts the screaming. Pure nightmare, a flight from hell!!!!- Maybe the parents need the sun as much as we do so they have to take the babies with them. But I agree, it was horrible and the babies didn’t seem to enjoy it either. But here we are finally!
- Go grab a plate and a glass and have some bread and juice.
- Where did you find rye bread?
- I brought some from home. They don’t know how to make bread here…
- Ken!!!! You are so old! Who brings their own food when they travel abroad?! Grannies!!!!
- I know. But I need my fibre. It’s just to ease up the culture shock in my bowel.
- Idiots! she curses and returns to the apartment.
- It hurts so much! I can barely move. Do you have some magic lotion?
- No, I never burn, so I don’t need lotions.
- These should make your skin as good as new, Ken laughs.
- Are we going to meet your special surfer boy, Ken?
- Blaine… no. He lives in Thailand as far as I know.
- Don’t ask me… better vibes, cheaper drugs maybe?
- An alcohol beverage?!
- Yes! It was so cheap! We can watch a movie on your iPad and get drunk.
- I will fall asleep after one sip.
- I vomited on my feet and on the floor. I thought it’s better than shitting on the floor. I want to die!
Ken finds a bucket and says it’s not a reason to die, but he really understands how Kaarna feels right now.
- How much Baileys did you drink anyway?!
- Half a glass, the same as you. I didn’t want to drink alone.
- Did you eat something suspicious? Or have you been drinking tap water?
- No and no.
- Have you touched door knobs with your bare hands?
- Of course I have touched door knobs!
- That’s it then. The norovirus can be anywhere. Haven’t you noticed that the Spanish people hardly ever wash their hands after going to the toilet?
- I used to have the tourist diarrhea on every vacation but then Hector told me to avoid certain types of food and to use hand sanitizer all the time. It really helps to be a little paranoid about germs here. Ok… Since you have to stay here today, I have to go alone to the kite festival. But look, I found some magazines from the bookshelf in the reception to entertain you.
- Royalty? There’s actually a magazine about the royal people?
- Yes, must be an interesting and important information, Ken laughs.
- Luckily we are not forced to stay here all the time now that you are healthy again. Let’s take a bus and visit the capital!
- It’s impossible to just watch and leave with empty hands when I’m the only customer there and I feel that the shop owner desperately needs to sell something.
- So it seems.
- It’s like coming home when I come here. I know this island. I know the bus routes, I know the grocery stores, I know my favorite places. I just want to relax and not stress about learning everything from the beginning. Plus I don’t know any other place with a climate as pleasant as it is here.
- I appreciate the fact that not a single frog lives here!
- Ha! True! A frog free zone!
- I don’t want the cleaning lady to think that we are pigs! I feel very uncomfortable about a stranger coming to our so-called home every day.
- Me too. But why can’t we just leave everything messy so that she’d actually have a reason to come here?
The next sight is a green lagoon where they have whole 15 minutes to look around before rushing to the ferry. Kaarna is annoyed:
- Stupid tour schedule! First we have to spend ages in a stupid aloe vera shop and in a stupid wine cellar, and then we must hurry through the amazing volcano experience like headless chickens! Seriously, 10 minutes of free time! Fuck this shit!
- Do you want the big one or the small one?
- The big one of course!
- Good. I hope I can fit this little guy on my souvenir shelf back home.
- Home… oh no… we only have a week left.
They eat a packed lunch feeling happy about themselves.
- Oh my feet are soooooo tired!
- And mine are stinky! You want to smell my shoes?
- Ken!!!! No!!!!!
- I think now it’s a good time to finish that Baileys of yours and watch movies on iPad, Ken says.
Kaarna runs to the hotel minimarket and buys cupcakes and churros. They spend the whole day in bed and hope that the sun will come back in the morning for their last moments on Fuerteventura.
(But no, he’s not taking us to the restaurant. We won’t meet these people. It’s all a part of Ken’s life that he’s not sharing with us.)
- Me neither, but we have to.
- You go! Leave me behind!
- You don’t even have a roof over your head here!
- I can live in a cave on the mountains!!!!!!!